 |
| "Do you think me finger smells of fish or what?" |
'Not cocked last night?' you muse as her arms wave and rave in the rearview mirror, multi-tasking, applying makeup to twentysomething skin as she dagger stares you out of it.
She's a furious red (rouge) when the lights go green.
Not to be left at the 'get go', she's on your ass like some multinational's mad manager.
A six-year-old powder blue Kildare reg'd Golf is not something worth getting upset about, in my opinion.
Garda cyclists
Reminds me of a Sunday midnight, mid July, when a biker cop peddled me down Dublin's Wood Quay.
"You know why I stopped you, don't you?", he barked. "I don't guard", I replied, when really I wanted to suggest 'You acted on impulse and chased me down to invite me for a late night drink at The George'.
"You ran a red light at the pedestrian crossing", he claimed.
"Are you sure it wasn't orange?" I suggested.
"Listen to me" he continued. "There's too many people killed on our roads this weekend. You could have killed someone walking over the bridge".
"Oh really guard. Was I on the millenium foot bridge?. You're right. Donegal. Those poor unfortunates in that eight seater Passat. A shame really. Seven young lads killed in an instant. Not to mention the harmless 'auld critter' on his way home from Bingo" is what you wanted to say but thought better of as your main beams catch the swagger of a 'new one' dancing and prancing like some 'gayer' off X-factor.
"Where's your insurance certificate?". "At home guard but the disc is displayed in the windscreen" I replied.
"Where's your NCT certificate?" he inquired. "At home guard, the NCT disc is on the window".
"Where's your driving licence?" he demaned. "Here it is" as I whipped it out from my trousers.
Still 'smarting' from his 7-per-cent pension levy and 10-per-cent pay-cut he grumbled "You have ten days to present your documents at a designated Garda station. Which Garda station do you want to designate?".
"The Bridewell" I replied.
He pedelled off in his navy blue pants, butt cheeks perfectly parted, anonymously.
I headed home waiting for his plain white envelope to fall through my letterbox demanding 80 euro and two penalty points. Outrageous.
ps. AA Roadwatch seems to take issue with the Phoenix Park's Castleknock gates being shut from 10am until 7pm daily for 'park maintenance'. On Tuesday morning's Ian Dempsey breakfast show for Today Fm, a nanny-mouse, apologies, anonymous 'giggling girleen' was able to say that although the gates are closed between the aforementioned hours the Park reopened at 5.30pm Monday due to traffic congestion. Sounds like a 'four wheels good' agenda to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment